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标题: Can somebody check for me? thank you (part 3)更新中…… [打印本页]

作者: 看不没有做 时间: 2013-4-6 09:48 PM
标题: Can somebody check for me? thank you (part 3)更新中……
本帖最后由看不没有做于 2013-5-12 08:46 PM 编辑

This article is my real own experience, i hope that i can share some experience and get some feedback from you, thank a lot

My First presentation experience(part 1)

Before i study at college, i never stand in front of people and then give a talk. After 1-2 weeks of studying at college, our lecturer tells us, we will have a presentation, we need to prepare a presentation about the title of ' World Famous Entrepreneur'. Our lecturer provides some guidelines to us, and we need to choose the entrepreneur as fast as possible, it is because if it is selected by others, you will not select it anymore.
I raise up my hand, and all the people look at me, suddenly i seem like the animals at the zoo. I ask our lecturer, may i select now? Sure, answered by our lecturer. So, I leave out of my seat, and go to in front to fill out the form.

I know at the time, my classmates are curious about who is the entrepreneur that i chosen. They guess me choosing Bill Gates, Steve jobs and etc. But actually i choose Robert kuok who is the richest man in Malaysia. After that, all the people are crazy to select Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. They seem like dont know any other entrepreneur except them.

After i done the decision, i can slow down my steps for a while. I almost have a concept about how well the presentation i would like to present. Therefore, i go to ask Google, i surf all the information about Robert Kuok, no matter Chinese or English article. I cant find any information that is talking bad things about Robert Kuok. Reasons why i decided to present him? Because he is my idol, I admire him all the time. He has a good sense of worth for doing his business, he says As long as we have benevolent thoughts and do not go against our conscience in our actions , we will be able to walk on with a determined mind.

to be continued~~

Part 2

Part 3

作者: mountainmoo 时间: 2013-4-6 09:58 PM
After i done the decision
应该用made比较好，而且也不可以用done啦，did还可以

After i have made the decision， or
After i made the decision

作者: 看不没有做 时间: 2013-4-6 10:01 PM

mountainmoo 发表于 2013-4-6 09:58 PM
After i done the decision
应该用made比较好，而且也不可以用done啦，did还可以

ok, 受教了~ tq

作者: C.YYang 时间: 2013-4-6 10:59 PM
i never stand in front of people and then give a talk -> to give a talk

our lecturer tells us, we will have a presentation -> tell us that we will be having a presentation

prepare a presentation about the title -> on the title

Our lecturer provides some guidelines to us, and we need to choose the entrepreneur as fast as possible, it is because if it is selected by others, you will not select it anymore.
-> Our lecturer provided some guidelines to us. We must make our decision on which entrepreneur we will be presenting as soon as possible before take by others.

I raise up my hand -> i raised my hand

and all the people look at me, suddenly i seem like the animals at the zoo
-> everyone stared at me as if I am an animal at the zoo

I ask our lecturer-> i asked my lecturer

Sure, answered by our lecturer-> sure, he said

So, I leave out of my seat, and go to in front to fill out the form.
-> So i proceed to the front and fill up the form

I know at the time
->I knew at that time

who is the entrepreneur that i chosen.
->that i chose

They guess me choosing - > they figured i will choose

all the people are crazy to select- 不是很明白这句的意思

They seem like dont -> they seem like they do not

After i done the decision-> after i made my decision

I almost have a concept about how well the presentation i would like to present- 不是很明白

i go to ask Google, i surf all the information about Robert Kuok
-> i googled all the information about Robert Kuok

I cant find any information that is talking bad things about Robert Kuok
->cant find any information that says bad things about Robert Kuok

Reasons why i decided to present him?
-> Why did i decide to present about him?/ Why did i chose him?

作者: 看不没有做 时间: 2013-4-6 11:32 PM

C.YYang 发表于 2013-4-6 10:59 PM
i never stand in front of people and then give a talk -> to give a talk

our lecturer tells us, w ...

wow, you are so kind, thank you for your reply

作者: 看不没有做 时间: 2013-4-6 11:39 PM

C.YYang 发表于 2013-4-6 10:59 PM
i never stand in front of people and then give a talk -> to give a talk

our lecturer tells us, w ...

all the people are crazy to select- 不是很明白这句的意思

很多人急着选择

I almost have a concept about how well the presentation i would like to present- 不是很明白

我大概有个概念关于我要呈现怎样的presentation

Ps: 我的英语让你贱笑了，我是想透过这个方式来改进我的英语，谢谢你让我有请进的动力

作者: Yumiz_T 时间: 2013-4-6 11:56 PM
提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽

作者: daa 时间: 2013-4-7 12:29 AM
请问这是什么用途呢？学业用途吗？还是纯粹想用英文书写？

Before i study at college, i never stand in front of people and then give a talk.
>Before I started studying in college, I have never given a talk in front of crowd.

After 1-2 weeks of studying at college, our lecturer tells us, we will have a presentation, we need to prepare a presentation about the title of ' World Famous Entrepreneur'.
>After some time, our lecturer told us that we would be having a presentation on "World Famous Entrepreneur".

Our lecturer provides some guidelines to us, and we need to choose the entrepreneur as fast as possible, it is because if it is selected by others, you will not select it anymore.
>Our lecturer provided us some guidelines. We would need to choose the entrepreneur to present on as soon as possible as we would not be able to select the entrepreneur if he/she is selected by others.

I raise up my hand, and all the people look at me, suddenly i seem like the animals at the zoo. I ask our lecturer, may i select now? Sure, answered by our lecturer. So, I leave out of my seat, and go to in front to fill out the form.
>All my classmates were looking at me as if looking at an animal in the zoo. I asked the lecturer if I may select the topic now. "Sure", he said. So I went in front (the stage?) to fill in the form for that.

I know at the time, my classmates are curious about who is the entrepreneur that i chosen. They guess me choosing Bill Gates, Steve jobs and etc. But actually i choose Robert kuok who is the richest man in Malaysia. After that, all the people are crazy to select Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. They seem like dont know any other entrepreneur except them.
>I knew, at that time, that my classmates were curious about the entrepreneur that I have chosen. They thought I would be choosing Bill Gates, Steve jobs and etc. Actually I chose Robert Kuok, the richest man in Malaysia. All of them were all into choosing Bill Gates and Steve Jobs as if they know none other entrepreneurs than these two people.

After i done the decision, i can slow down my steps for a while. I almost have a concept about how well the presentation i would like to present. Therefore, i go to ask Google, i surf all the information about Robert Kuok, no matter Chinese or English article.
>I could take my time to prepare for the presentation after deciding on the topic. I thought I know how to present this topic well. Therefore, I searched for all the information about Robert Kuok on Google.com, may it be in Mandarin or English language.

I cant find any information that is talking bad things about Robert Kuok. Reasons why i decided to present him? Because he is my idol, I admire him all the time. He has a good sense of worth for doing his business, he says As long as we have benevolent thoughts and do not go against our conscience in our actions , we will be able to walk on with a determined mind.
>I could not find any information that is against Robert Kuok. Reason why I decided to choose him as a topic for presentation? It is because he is my idol, I have always admire him. He has good business sense. He said, "As long as we have benevolent thoughts and do not go against our conscience in our actions , we will be able to walk on with a determined mind." (I dont understand this quote"

作者: 看不没有做 时间: 2013-4-7 12:19 PM
本帖最后由看不没有做于 2013-4-7 12:34 PM 编辑

daa 发表于 2013-4-7 12:29 AM
请问这是什么用途呢？学业用途吗？还是纯粹想用英文书写？

Before i study at college, i never stand i ...

没有什么用途啦，就是纯粹想用英文书写&分享我的presentation经验给一些学弟，
帮人之余也帮到自己~

"As long as we have benevolent thoughts and do not go against our conscience in our actions , we will be able to walk on with a determined mind." (I dont understand this quote"

哈哈，直译的后果~ 主要讲做生意要对的起良心，绝不做对不起良心的事。他说过胆量应该对生意，而不是对人，对人应该用的是度量~

谢谢

作者: 看不没有做 时间: 2013-4-7 12:20 PM

Yumiz_T 发表于 2013-4-6 11:56 PM
Before I enter a college, I've never stand in front of people to make a presentation. After two week ...

wow,你真的很用心哦，谢谢

作者: 无聊的云 时间: 2013-4-7 07:26 PM
Before i study at college, i never stand in front of people and give a speech After 1-2 weeks of studying at college, our lecturer tells us, we will have a presentation, we need to prepare a presentation about the title of ' World Famous Entrepreneur'. Our lecturer provide some guidelines to us, and we need to choose the entrepreneur as fast as possible, it is because if it is selected by others, you cant select it anymore.
I raise up my hand, and all the people look at me, suddenly i seem like the animals at the zoo. I asked our lecturer, may i select now? Sure, answered by our lecturer. So, I left my seat, and went in front to fill the form

I know by the time , my classmates are curious about who is the entrepreneur that i chosen. They guess I am going to choose Bill Gates, Steve jobs and etc. But actually i choose Robert kuok who is the richest man in Malaysia. After that, all the people are in a frenzy to select Bill Gates and Steve Jobs as their presentation topic . They seem like dont know any other entrepreneur except them.

After i made the decision, i can relax for a while. I almost have a concept about how well the presentation i would like to present.(不明白你想说什么) Therefore, i search Google, i surf all the information about Robert Kuok, no matter Chinese or English article. I cant find any information that is talking bad things about Robert Kuok. The Reasons why i decided to present him is Because he is my idol and I admire him all the time. He has a good sense of worth for doing his business, he says As long as we have benevolent thoughts and do not go against our conscience in our actions , we will be able to walk on with a determined mind.不明白

This is how i will correct your script

作者: 看不没有做 时间: 2013-4-7 08:20 PM

无聊的云发表于 2013-4-7 07:26 PM
Before i study at college, i never stand in front of people and give a speech After 1-2 weeks of stu ...

I almost have a concept about how well the presentation i would like to present- 不是很明白

我大概有个概念关于我要呈现怎样的presentation

"As long as we have benevolent thoughts and do not go against our conscience in our actions , we will be able to walk on with a determined mind."

哈哈，直译的后果~ 主要讲做生意要对的起良心，绝不做对不起良心的事。他说过胆量应该对生意，而不是对人，对人应该用的是度量~

谢谢哦~

作者: daa 时间: 2013-4-7 09:40 PM

看不没有做发表于 2013-4-7 12:19 PM
没有什么用途啦，就是纯粹想用英文书写&分享我的presentation经验给一些学弟，
帮人之余也帮到自己~{: ...

主要讲做生意要对的起良心，绝不做对不起良心的事。他说过胆量应该对生意，而不是对人，对人应该用的是度量~

应该比较难翻译，我的能力只到这里哦：
We should always act with integrity in dealing with business. 后面那句我还是不明白，因为两个句子没有冲突矛盾的地方。难比较。

作者: 看不没有做 时间: 2013-4-7 09:47 PM

daa 发表于 2013-4-7 09:40 PM
主要讲做生意要对的起良心，绝不做对不起良心的事。他说过胆量应该对生意，而不是对人，对人应该用的是度 ...

没关系，也是谢谢你哦~
我会不断更新，
有空进来看看~

作者: daa 时间: 2013-4-7 10:03 PM

看不没有做发表于 2013-4-7 09:47 PM
没关系，也是谢谢你哦~
我会不断更新，
有空进来看看~

好的 =）希望你的英文可以一直进步哦！

作者: 看不没有做 时间: 2013-4-8 07:28 PM
My First presentation experience（ part 2 ）
For preparing my presentation, I did a crazy thing to perform well on my presentation. I went to read a novel about him, the whole book is about 300pages. To prevent me missing any main points, i almost used 1 week to finish reading it. It is really making me more recognise about him, so I'm more confident to perform well. I also went to Youtube to see any videos about him, but his videos are too less, because he is a media-shy person, he doesn't like to be interviewed. Fortunately, he accepted to attend a dialogue TV programme in China recently, it is really rare.

Now everything's ok, but my next problem was also coming. Due to my poor English, I afraid that i cannot translate it from chinese to english very well. Therefore, I was starting to find the english's article about him, and glanced over his profile on Wikipedia. Due to different way different information, so i could not determine which is correct. Lastly, i decided to skip the unsure parts.

For the presentation, the time management is an art, it is important because if you are given 5 minutes to present it, but you have been presenting more than 5 minutes, the lecturer will have the right to stop. Instead, if you have done before the given time, it maybe seem like your points are not enough, so your mark will be lower. So, the concept of time is very important to let you get the extra mark. Some strict lecturers will not accept the part of exceeding the time given, so your concept may not be emphasized very well, it is wasting for your mark.

For my advice, use the rule of 8/2. Using the 80% of the given time to present, and using the 20% of the given time for the emergency. Some people may not know the presentation exists the potential mark which is for the Q&A section. Most of the lecturers will not tell you, but it still exists. At this time, the 20% of the given time can be using for the Q&A section. Hence, you match the time properly is also not the best way, because you may lose the mark of Q&A section. The best way is using the rule of 8/2, believe it or not?

to be continued~~

作者: lifeissianz 时间: 2013-4-25 07:00 PM
Before I went to college, I do not have the guts to face crowd in front of me to present. After 1-2 weeks in college, our lecturer told us, we need to prepare a presentation about “ World Famous Entrepreneur’.
Our lecture provide us with some guideline, so that we can have a quick decision and to stood a fair chance among others. I raised my hand up, all eyes shine on me, which made me look like a statue. I question my lecturer, may I select? Of course he told me. I left my seat and went to complete the form.
At that point of time, my classmates are curious which person I have choose. They guessed, either Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, etc. eventually I choose Robert Kuok wealthiest man in our country. A while past, everyone seems to have more interest to select Bill Gate and Steve Jobs. Their only general knowledge entrepreneur that are successful are only them.
After making my decision, slowing down my steps, I have a concept in my mind that I would like to note down. Therefore, I went online and google information about my entrepreneur, which came in both my dialogue article. No negative comments about Robert Kuok. So what is the reason I choose him?i admire him because of his career, what he have achieved along this years. He has a objective in his business, as long as we have benevolent thoughts and never go against our conscience in our ways, we will have determined mindset.!

作者: lifeissianz 时间: 2013-4-25 07:22 PM
本帖最后由 lifeissianz 于 2013-4-25 07:24 PM 编辑

看不没有做发表于 2013-4-8 07:28 PM
My First presentation experience（ part 2 ）
For preparing my presentation, I did a crazy thing to ...

While preparing my presentation, I done an insane subject to present In my presentation. I read a novel about him, which consists of 300 pages. In order to retain all my important points, I had to complete it within a week. Understanding his background is a piece of cake, as I have confident to describe him well. I went online to view videos describing his success, but there are only a few videos, because he has less contact with media. Reluctantly he accepte to attend a dialogue TV programme which is host by China media.
I felt confident, but there is certain trouble that concerns me. Due to my weakness in English, my translation from my mother tongue to English is not well. Therefore I start my steps searching for more related article about him, and have a glance over his individual pop folio on the net. Due to different information, I could not determine right and wrong. Lastly I decide to skip the unsure parts.
During presentation, time management served an important factor because time limit is only 5 minutes, any extension or least timing presented will caused us to lose marks. Time is an important factor to gain extra mark. Stricter lecturer will overlook the extra time presented, which in result wasting our effort.
Heed my advice, use rule 80/100. Head for 80% time to present well and the rest for back-up plan. Certain individual have no idea presentation part have potential mark for Q&A section. Majority of lecturer are selfish, but it exists. This point of time, 20% of the supplied time can be used for Q&A section. Hence, manage our time well is not our priority, because we may lose mark in Q&A section. The most effective way is to rule 8/2, trust me.

Cheers

作者: unknownhammie 时间: 2013-5-3 08:01 PM
Grammar mistakes everywhere.

作者: unknownhammie 时间: 2013-5-3 08:40 PM
本帖最后由 unknownhammie 于 2013-5-3 08:41 PM 编辑

I had never stand in front of people before I started my studies in college. After 1-2 weeks of studying in the college, my lecturer told us that we will have to prepare for a presentation on "World Famous Entrepreneur". My lecturer did provide us some guidelines, and we need to decide fast which entrepreneur to choose as an entrepreneur can only be selected once. I raised my hand and everyone was looking at me in an odd way. I asked my lecturer, "May I choose now?". "Sure", he answered. Therefore, I left my seat and went in front of the class to fill up the form.

At that time, I knew many of my classmates were curious about which entrepreneur that I chose. They might thought that I would be choosing Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. In fact, I chose Robert Kuok, the richest man in Malaysia. All my classmates were so into selecting Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, as if they didn't know any other entrepreneurs than both of them.

After I made the decision, I slowed down my steps. I almost have the whole picture of how well my presentation would be going like. Therefore, I searched all information in Google regardless Chinese or English articles. Surprisingly, I couldn't find any articles that contained negative comments of him. The reason why I chose him as a subject for my presentation was he is always my idol and I admire him much. He is a very successful man in business as his saying, "We should always act with integrity in dealing with business. Courage is used to deal with business not people. We must treat people with generosity."

作者: noobiie_moii 时间: 2013-5-11 09:14 PM

本帖最后由看不没有做于 2013-4-8 07:31 PM 编辑

This article is my real own experience, i hope that i can share some experience and get some feedback from you, thank a lot

My First presentation experience(part 1)

Before i study at college, i never stand in front of people and then give a talk i have never given a speech in front of any people. After 1-2 weeks of studying at college, our lecturer tells us, we will have a presentation, we need to prepare a presentation about the title of ' World Famous Entrepreneur'. we need to prepare a presentation on the title, regarding the "world famous entrepreneur"Our lecturer provides some guidelines to us, and we need to choose the entrepreneur as fast as possibleand we need to make a decision, on which types of entrepreneur we are going to give a speech on asap , it is because if it is selected by others, you will not select it anymore.reason being, if it was to be selected by the others, we will not be able to use the same topic
I raise up my hand, and all the people look at me, suddenly i seem like the animals at the zoosuddenly, i seems like an animal from the zoo. I ask our lecturer, may i select now? Sure, answered by our lecturer. So, I leave out of my seati left my seat, and go to in front to fill out the formand walk to the front, to fill up the form.

I know at the time, my classmates are curious about who is the entrepreneur that i chosenthat i had chosen. They guess me choosing Bill Gatesthey were guessing about me choosing Bill Gates, Steve jobs and etc. But actually i choosei chose Robert kuok who is the richest man in Malaysia. After that, all the people are crazy to select Bill Gates and Steve Jobsevery body is rushing to choose Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. They seem like dont know any other entrepreneur except them.They seems to only know these two entrepreneur rather than the others.

After i done the decisionAfter the decision was done by me, i can slow downi am able to slow down my steps for a while. I almost have a concept about how well the presentation i would like to presenti almost have a concept, on how well the presentation i will make . Therefore, i go to ask Googlei get informations through google, i surf all the information about Robert Kuok, no matter Chinese or English articlenever matters if it is in which language. I cant find any information that is talking bad things about Robert KuokThere is no information on Robert kuok which is negative. Reasons why i decided to present him? that is why i made a presentation about himBecause he is my idolhe is my idol, I admire him all the time. He has a good sense of worth for doing his business, he says As long he says: "as longas we have benevolent thoughts and do not go against our conscience in our actions , we will be able to walk on with a determined mind.

to be continued~~

part 2

i just check and amend "some", although my english was not that perfect as well, but i do think that by rephrasing some of the sentence, it will be better. Hope every one of us checking can learn from each others as well. thank you.

作者: 看不没有做 时间: 2013-5-12 08:43 PM
Part 3
For me, I spent too much time to collect the information, but I neglected the time management, so that means a lot of efforts were gone away. This was because the limited time was not enough to allow me to present all the things. Hence, I prepared again the draft of presentation, cut down the useless parts and kept the important parts. It was hard to me to forfeit the things that i did, they seemed like my sons, I couldn't live without them.
Lastly, I used the rule of 8/2 in my presentation. In addition, the important parts were still a lot, so i want to speed up my speaking speed. It was harder for me, but I knew nobody would help me if I didn't force me to do that, so, that's a critical period. That was the crazy thing that I had never had before.

'Practice makes perfect', I trained myself through practice, practice and practice. Did you practice in front of mirror? Of course, I did. I practiced when I was walking, eating, shitting, bathing, and sleeping. In addition, I used the recorder to record my talking, so that I would know where was the problem when i was speaking. The total of records were not less than 100.

All the things i prepared myself even though the draft, but I thought my draft was not using the proper English. It was because most of them I translated from chinese to english, i swallowed all the information that i had read, and then described them through the use of my own words. Your own words were more powerful and important than others, because sometimes you cannot understand others totally, so the information that you are transiting maybe wrong. Therefore, I always swallow the information that i got, and then just represent through my own words until now.

作者: 看不没有做 时间: 2013-5-12 08:53 PM

lifeissianz 发表于 2013-4-25 07:22 PM
While preparing my presentation, I done an insane subject to present In my presentation. I read ...

thank you for your helping~

I am appreciated~

作者: 看不没有做 时间: 2013-5-12 08:57 PM

unknownhammie 发表于 2013-5-3 08:40 PM
I had never stand in front of people before I started my studies in college. After 1-2 weeks of stud ...

thank you for your helping~

I am appreciated~
I will be going on for improving my English.

作者: 看不没有做 时间: 2013-5-12 09:02 PM

noobiie_moii 发表于 2013-5-11 09:14 PM
本帖最后由看不没有做于 2013-4-8 07:31 PM 编辑

thank you for your helping~

I am appreciated~
gambateh for our future~

作者: noobiie_moii 时间: 2013-5-12 10:37 PM

看不没有做发表于 2013-5-12 08:43 PM
Part 3
For me, I spent too much time to collect the information, but I neglected the time managemen ...

in an essay, try not to ask a question. not very appropriate, as you should be answering the question itself.

作者: 看不没有做 时间: 2013-5-12 10:44 PM

noobiie_moii 发表于 2013-5-12 10:37 PM
in an essay, try not to ask a question. not very appropriate, as you should be answering the quest ...

Thank you for your correction.

作者: noobiie_moii 时间: 2013-5-12 10:51 PM
本帖最后由 noobiie_moii 于 2013-5-12 10:52 PM 编辑

看不没有做发表于 2013-5-12 08:57 PM
thank you for your helping~
I am appreciated~
I will be going on for improving my Eng ...

and erm, i just realized. you write shitting =.=

you got a bit of the problem on present/past tense. perhaps, you can double check on your tenses after finish writing.

try not to finish a sentence without "," you may pause, before finishing your talk. (just like singing, there will be a pause some where for you to breath, before you continues.)

you're very welcome.

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